Category Archives: Blog

Generally just me talking about me, what pisses me off, and anything of note in my life.

Brad’s New War

World War z is the movie adaption of World War Z, by Max Brooks A Novel of the Zombie apocalypse. I’ll review the book at another time, but if you have to have a review of the book here it is. Buy it, its awesome.

The movie makes some rapid departures from the book almost immediately setting itself apart as a similar but separate narrative. To be fair the book is almost unfilmable as a movie, it could be done as a series with each of the stories within the boo… ahh, i see what you did there. No I’m not going to talk about the book this is about the movie.

Within the scope of the movies narrative Brad Pitts character fulfills the same roll as his name sake within the book. He is both the main protagonist and the link to the history of the virus. We view this apocalypse through his eyes and we necessarily feel his peril. Without revealing any of the plot, Lane, Pitts Character, is tapped to find the source of the infection.

This becomes his impetus for moving from country to country, and its here that War Z rocks! The usual fare for a zombie movie is that we see a single town or if were lucky part of a city or in the notable cases of the walking dead and 28 days we see the loss of an entire country. Here in World War Z we see the downfall of humanity, and our civilization coming apart at the seems.

It makes for some amazing set pieces. Watching as the living breathing organism of a city pulls its self apart and shatters in its death throes is quite frankly some of the most amazing cinema I have seen.

Its not without its faults, the incredulity of Lanes survival after repeated and escalating encounters with the infected starts to bend what we are prepared to accept from even a zombie movie. The plot sometimes glosses over and ignores plot holes and major actors seem to be misused in bit parts without ever getting a chance to develop what was obviously intended larger roles within the plot of the movie.

All in all this is a good flick and worth the entrance fees.

A New bit of fiction im working on

The gods, Pontius Philus Orelius decided, were arseholes. The towering man in front of him stood clearing his immense warhammer from the loop on his belt. Pontius repeated his question “Are you Lief Gunderson, of the clan Gunder, son of Gunder and member of the Nortmen tribes?” The slap of the warhammers stone head hitting the meat of the Nortmans palm punctuated his question and seemed to quietly reverberate in the silence of the now deathly quiet tavern common room

“What if I am little Toad?” The Nortman’s mocking tone made fun of his lacquered green Politian armour. His cold eyes and easy confidence making the absurdity of Pontius’s challenge plain to all within the tavern. The Nortman began laughing and looking around at his cronies “Have you come to take me away?”

The rest of the men in the tavern began laughing now. No-one liked the Politia, and everyone wanted to see the little Sunderman in his green armour taken down a peg, or two, or ten. Pontius smiled at the Nortmans laughter and repeated his question a hard note of command entering his voice “Are you Lief Gunderson, and will you submit to testing, or present proof of your service or citizenship?”

The laughter in the bar died down, this little toad was not acting as expected. Surely he knew he was outnumbered tens to one, and even if no-one helped the Nortman he stood over 6 foot tall, was well muscled and carried a warhammer that must have weighed over 15 pounds. The Nortman carried it like he knew how to use it, he had the look of a man who would use it. Conversely Pontius’s head barely cleared the Nortmans solar plexus, and while his Politian scalemail was bulky it did little to hide his wiry frame and slender build. Everybody else seemed to know how this would go, why didn’t the Politian?

The Nortman’s face was red with anger now as he answered the little Politian “Yes I am Lief Gunderson little man, and I will go nowhere with you” Ponitus was already moving as the Nortmans massive warhammer barely clearing the ceiling came smashing down towards where his head used to be, the immense Nortman moving with unusual speed barely correcting his swing in time to avoid being thrown off his balance and arcing the hammer out to one side to follow Ponitus. Ponitus ducked under his swing his Gladius seemingly appearing from nowhere to appear to hand in a reverse grip, the hard steel ball of the pommel facing up the flat of the blade resting against his forearm, stepping forward inside the giants grasp he kicked out with his hard scaled sabatons catching the man on the inside of his right knee, quickly following with a rapid punch of the gladius’s pommel to man’s vulnerable solar plexus. The Nortmans breath escaped him in a single massive gasp he droped to his uninjured kneed heaving and struggling to breath, stepping closer now Pontius grasped the man by his shirt collar and smashed the pommel of his sword into the big man’s head once, twice, three times until he felt the man drop into unconsciousness and then danced backed swinging the Gladius around in his hand changing his grip to face the blade forward. He glared around the room, the stunned silence of the men within was almost deafening. He met each of their gazes and when he could he held it till they looked away. When he was sure that none would attempt to avenge their fallen friend he turned to consider the fallen Nortman before him.

Stepping forward Ponitus pulled the thin Lamia charmed silver bracelets from within his belt pouch while he rolled the big Nortman onto his front pulling his hands around behind him straightening the mans arms wile he slapped a bracelet on each wrist he muttered the word of binding and bracelets firmed and snapped together behind the mans back finding each other like separate pieces of loadstone. Pontius knew that no matter how hard he tried he knew the Nortman would not be able to separate the bracelets and free his hands.

“Lief Gunderson, of the clan of Gunder, son of Gunder, member of the Nortman Tribes. You stand accused of Desertion, Theft, Theft of Weapon, Murder, and Murder of a Citizen, You will return with me with to Cyphus Majoris and you will stand trial for your Crimes. Philus reached within him in a way he could never fully explain taping that core of magia within him and channelled it into the bracelets that bound the man’s hands behind his back. “You are bound by Law.” He felt his magia filling the lamia charmed bracelets and leaking into the big Nortman and when he knew the magia was in the right places he twisted it binding the man’s will to his own. “The Law will stand.”

How does this work again?

So let me get this straight.

I stop eating the foods i like. I pay a person $60 a month for access to a weights room
I “Train” until i hurt, because this is apparently how i “know its working”
Someone yells at me and calls me names… after i pay them.
And this is all somehow a good thing?

My be easier if i was just racist.

I dont want to be that guy

I don’t..

However and maybe its just age. But the sign on my mailbox clearly says no junk mail. Today I had junk mail. And not like that semi, to the householder political junk. Actual buy our shit (cleaning services) in the mailbox, its not even in an envelope its just straight out junk. What I want to do is call the phone number and say look. Fella, mate, pal. Its not that I’m angry, and I don’t want anyone to loose their job but my mail box is clearly labeled no junk mail. Have a chat to your delivery people would you, k thanks bye.

I know it will achieve nothing, except to make some poor call centre monkey’s job harder and i’d get ignored but i so damn want to do it.

Australia post, yeah i know its a topic stretch. But its what i could find.

Beer!

Not going to lie. I pretty much finished all my work about an hour ago. I have most of tomorrows done by this stage. I could really use a beer.

How to Kill a Vampire

Look im not saying i have all the answers. I’m just saying. If you leave a millennia old vampire staked to a wall and walk away from him without cutting his head off dousing him in holy water and burning his body then spreading the ashes in running water, what are you doing ?

I mean really? Are you Vampire hunter or are you just here for the tight pants? Of course he’s going to get back up when your back is turned, he’s an ancient evil, that views you with the same passion you reserve for a really good burger.

Look im not saying that you’re not trying. Top marks for effort, its an A on effort, really! I just have to ask, have you thought about how long you want to do this? Is this really your career path. Maybe we can find something for you in admin because, mate, I have to tell you. You made some elementary mistakes back there, like.. not killing the vampire, and i don’t know if you can cut it.

No really. I don’t know if you can cut it, like cut its head off. Because you didn’t try. Also i don’t know if you can do the job properly.

We dont want you to think about this as getting fired. We want you to think about this as a chance to find something you really love to do… you know properly. Then do it… somewhere else.

Drinking with the boys

Drinking at the civic pub of all places. I avoided this place this I broke up with Nat because this is her pub. Doesn’t seem like she is here. Don’t know if I’m happy or sad about that.

Weird.

Ps no video clip cause I’m posting from my phone